Adjunct Bibliotherapy
My recommendations for using the book:
“Living Like You Mean It”
A book by Ronald J. Fredrick
Here are some suggestions for reading and using this book as a possible adjunct to your psychotherapy.
By the way, author Ron Fredrick reviewed these suggestions and publicly stated to the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association professional worldwide community that he “loves them!”
Psychotherapy gains can continue to increase and expand even when one is not in session. If you have any desire or inclination, here’s a way you might choose to continue the work between sessions:
Get a copy of the book, “Living Like You Mean It” by Ron J. Fredrick.
I recommend not reading it quickly and not reading it through like you might read a novel, a non-fiction book – or any other regular book.
Before you start the book: Read all of these suggestions through to the end.
Then, when you have at least 15 minutes:
Step 1
First get calm and present: check in with yourself. As needed, you might engage (briefly or longer) in a relaxing, mindful activity of any length, e.g. slow breathing, a yoga pose, smelling a flower, a walk, gentle movement, stopping to feel the air on your skin…
or to notice the sounds around you, watching the sky, water, stars, fire, etc., meditation, music, drawing, dancing, journaling, poetry, whatever helps you relax, a bath, playing, a game, nature, singing songs or lullabies, humming, rocking, massage, hugs – Self-Care and Self-Soothing activities – until your anxiety level doesn’t exceed 4 on a scale of 0-10 and you are present in the moment, mindful, and energized.
Then if it feels right, you can continue to Step #2…
Or…
If you feel like it, you can stop right here: In fact, if you’d like to stay awhile in the state you’ve created for yourself during Step #1, that’s doing therapy “work” too. Why? Learning to allow ourselves to take time to relax and enjoy calm and pleasant feelings is just as important as any other “work” we do in therapy!
Step 2
Read the very first paragraph of the book. Do not read further, even if it’s tempting.
Step 3
Self-Check-in:
This is very important: Stop and take your time – a couple or few minutes – to check in with your self, your body, your mind, and any arising feelings or impulses:
- Pay careful attention as to whether anxiety, body discomfort, distracting thoughts, or physical symptoms are starting to rise, for example if you are getting weak or tired or starting to “check out” or feel hopeless or ruminate or worry – or if other resistances or defenses are coming up and starting to take you over.
- The material and case examples in the book can bring up feelings about our own experiences in childhood, and in our lives, as well as possible past traumas great or small. If in response to rising feelings, anxiety, resistance, defenses or physical symptoms are being triggered in you, it’s important to respect these “stop-sign” messages from within yourself and stop reading further at this point.
So if disturbing memories or over-strong feelings come up, STOP and choose a Self-Care or Self-Soothing activity(ies) that might work for you, such as those described in Step #1 above, or a Self-Expression activity such as those mentioned three paragraphs below.
IMPORTANT:
If you feel you might be going into crisis or experience the beginnings of an anxiety or panic attack, and Self-Care and Self-Soothing activities aren’t working:
- Call 911 or call an emergency mental or behavioral-health hotline or go to your nearest emergency room at a hospital or clinic.
- Call your therapist or medical provider.
If you think you might need an emergency plan or emergency hotline for any reason, discuss this with your therapist or physician or other medical or social services resource before you proceed further.
Step 4
After checking in with yourself…
If you are upset or triggered:
- Take whatever time seems good – 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 25 minutes – as long as you need or want – to restore and calm yourself (see Self-Care and Self-Soothing activities above).
- Make sure your anxiety level doesn’t exceed 4 on a scale of 0 – 10 before proceeding.
Or…
You can stop this reading activity and go onto another life activity of your own entirely, and perhaps talk about what happened in your next session.
SO
If you find you are feeling okay and choose to continue reading…
Step 4
Proceed with reading the next paragraph of the book (or, later in the book, doing the next exercise) and repeat process.
Or…
You might choose to reflect on your inner experience by doing a Self-Expression activity such as: Journaling, writing as if you are writing to me or to someone very loving and accepting of you, making an audio or video recording of yourself expressing yourself, talking with someone who typically encourages you to share your experience(s) and can contain their own anxiety and suggestions while you share (and vice versa), writing a poem or free-flow writing or making a drawing or whatever seems expressive and calming.
You might find activities like the above helpful in exploring and expressing your internal reactions, feelings, impulses and thoughts, and/or bringing you further back to a regulated, calm, present state.
Or…
Stop this reading activity entirely and go on to your own next life activity.
Step 5 … and beyond:
- Read the next paragraph or do the next exercise
- Continue from Step 3
- Repeat
Notes:
You could discuss this with your therapist before you start the book, and your experiences in future sessions.
Or share with an accepting and understanding friend, family member or medical/psychological professional.
You could do these exercises in tandem with a friend or mentor, and discuss your experiences.
These exercises could be one way of continuing the work during breaks. Through this process, you might increase your:
- Capabilities to bring down anxiety
- Capacity to recognize and disempower defenses
- Awareness and connection to physical body sensations, body impulses and body pain as they arise
- Ability to feel safe and tolerate giving your time, attention and focus to what’s happening in the present moment inside you, and in your interactions with others – without become anxious or blocked
- Memory and perhaps greater understanding about what has happened to you in the past and how it has affected you since, and is affecting you now
- Capacity to get in touch with your deeper unconscious self and its gifts
- Skills at calming anxiety and conquering depression
- Openness and feelings of safety as you begin to open a pathway for your feelings, your unconscious, and your real self to emerge, be seen and express itself.
These exercises might:
- Start to point the way toward the road out of suffering…
- Contribute to a sense of relief, being more alive, vital, whole and connected to the now and/or
… Or you may never experience any of these.
Whatever your experience, that’s what was meant to be…
I hope you enjoy this and get a lot out of it!
Sincerely yours,
Catherine
Catherine Lockwood, MA, LMFT
Brentwood Village, Los Angeles, California 90049 USA
Phone: (310) 488-5292
CatherineLockwoodMFT@Gmail.com
IMPORTANT NOTICES:
- If you have any doubts whatsoever about whether the above exercises are appropriate or safe for you to do, discuss first with a mental or behavioral health professional, counselor, doctor, clergyman or trusted counsel.
- Please note that this communication and the ideas therein do not constitute therapy, psychotherapy, nor a therapeutic, personal or professional relationship.
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“SUGGESTIONS FOR USING THE BOOK: LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT”
© 2015 Catherine Lockwood Psychotherapy, Couples and Family Counseling, Inc.
